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(no subject)
Nov. 15th, 2009 | 10:58 pm
mood: 
tired
music: Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana
I went to marina barrage today with Yingbin to celebrate her belated birthday. I expected to rain, like it had been for the past few days, but no, it didnt. In fact, the sun was SO strong, i am sunburnt.
Well, not exactly sunburnt. These kind of burns only start peeling around..... 2 weeks later. At first my back was red, and i started freaking out because before O levels i was naturally brown, i thought my skin was immune to burns and i NEVER EVER got sunburnt i usually just become browner. But because of O levels, i have been spending TOO MUCH time in air conditioned areas, i have been becoming abnormally yellowish white (that sounds so gross but i dont know what else to describe my colour. It's sickening. I'm just not brown anymore.) Anyway........... so, i never get burnt. But my back was lobster red today after what, half an hour in the sun? My skin has become WEAK.
The worst thing is, i was sitting with my BACK FACING THE SUN.
Yeah, so only my back is a different colour. The front side of me is fine, it's just my back.
After while, the red faded into a darker shade of red. Now it's almost brown. So i have HORRIBLE TAN LINES. They're HORRIBLE. HIDEOUS. When i wear my prom dress they are FREAKING VISIBLE it's so ugly i can't stand it. Which is why i am going tanning tomorrow, so at least i will be completely ONE COLOUR and not half brown half yellowish-white.
I hate my skin
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(no subject)
Nov. 9th, 2009 | 04:17 pm
mood: 
excited
andddddddd
because of the English compre, i have been trying to confront them.
Them being, whoever/whatever appears in my dream.
Clarissa has been appearing in my dreams the past two nights and i confronted her last night before i slept.
IT WORKED! i didnt dream of her last night hehehehe
CANNOT WAIT FOR FRIDAY TO COME. I HAVE AWESOME FRIENDS.
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Whoa
Nov. 6th, 2009 | 10:54 pm
mood: 
calm
Comments {1}
I've seen things like this before, back when everybody used blogger and nobody used livejournal. They were what we called "spammers", people who commented hiding behind the safety of their anonymity. Back then i guess spamming was a whole lot more convenient because of tagboards, and some of us, including myself, were immature enough to actually do it.But all that was when we were what, sec 1?
We're so much older now, i really thought spamming and anonymous insults were a thing of the past but i guess not. It's so unbelievably childish it's amusing.
I replied, "And who are you?" I'm not really expecting a reply, though a reply would be nice and surprising. That's the thing about anonymous comments, their commenters never seem to dare reveal their identity.
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You.
Nov. 3rd, 2009 | 12:12 am
It's been so long since we've last spoken. I've watched you change over these two years, from someone I loved so much, someone i was so close to, to a complete stranger. I've watched you on your highs, i watched you go wild, that scared me. Then something happened, something in you broke. I saw you fall, i watched as she left you, and you just shrank, shrank in every single way. Every single one of our attempts so start talking again have failed, and maybe it's because one of us isn't really making an effort, i don't know. I think it's the time apart that has created this awkwardness, we havent spoken properly since she came and the truth is, you don't know me anymore, the same way i don't know you.
Today you've been reduced to someone so passive, so.. closed. Every day i wish i could tell you how much it breaks my heart to see you like this. It really does. I find myself wishing i had done something before to keep you away from all the shit you've been through, wishing i had been a better friend, but it's always like this isn't it. Regret.
So, i don't know if i should go talk to you after O's. Now's not a good time, i dont want to fuck both our emotions up, not at this time. I miss you so bad but at the same time i dont know if you are who you used to me. I don't know if i'm who you used to know. Everyone has changed, everything is different now. We've been strangers for too long. Sometimes i just wish you could tell me what you want me to do.
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(no subject)
Oct. 18th, 2009 | 11:10 pm
mood: 
moody
I have never felt this inferior compared to just about everybody for such a long time.
I am stressed. Weird symptoms are starting to show.
The past week i've been oversleeping every single day. I've been planning to wake up at 8 so i can reach bishan library when it opens at 10 but i've been waking up at 9.30, looking at my phone and going Shit, the library opens in half an hour. Except on friday, my mom woke me up on friday.
And do you know why i've been oversleeping?
I have been waking up in the middle of the night and switching off my alarm.
It;s kinda like sleepwalking just that i don't walk around. I just sit up, grap my phone and off my alarm. So it does not ring at all. I think i've stopped because i didnt do it last night.
But this morning i didnt hear my alarm either. I changed it to Fly On The Wall instead of Poker Face, hoping Miley Cyrus's voice would force me to wake up. But i did not hear my alarm at all. Instead, i heard two indian men arguing very loudly inside my head in Tamil. They were very angry, i could tell from the tone of their voice. I dont know if it was a dream, i dont think so because when the indian men stopped shouting at each other i got up and realised my alarm stopped ringing. It was so loud, like... One man shouting in one ear. Screaming at each other in Tamil. Quite funny but scary. While they were screaming i even said to my sister, "I think they're fighting again" and when they stopped i said "They're finally done" or something before i woke up and realised there were no Indians.
And you know what else i realised? People- strangers, are generally nicer to me when i wear my contacts. That sucks.
O levels in 8 days.
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(no subject)
Sep. 24th, 2009 | 10:55 pm
I am quite scared. I tried telling somebody but she just laughed it off, now i think nobody will believe me.